Communication – Why is it so hard?

Here’s a question that needs some insight. Why is it so hard to communicate with some people? Why do our perceptions manipulate the way we hear words? Why do our past experiences influence that perception? How do we break away from our past and disassociate from what is familiar to allow new experiences to not remind us of the past. Freud refer to this as repetition compulsion. The need to relive the past, to get it right, and fix the trauma.

Psychotherapy will help unearth the trauma that is associated with the repetition compulsion. But dbt and cbt can help in the meantime. Coping strategies can be learned in the mean time to help recognize triggers that cause us to perceive things subjectively. Try standing outside yourself and look at the situation objectively. Do this by pausing before reacting to the conversation or perceived threat. The trigger makes you reactive instead of cognitively objective. Pausing and being present will help release you from the trigger until you have had enough psychotherapy to heal the trauma and no longer reactive from the past.

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